


Don't Make it Weird

by DeckofDragons



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Blood, Cuddles, Exisal Hanger, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sort Of, no one dies, plot holes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 12:04:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18716710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/pseuds/DeckofDragons
Summary: Kokichi has a plan. Kaito decides to go along with it because if anyone can outsmart Monokuma and the mastermind, it's Kokichi.





	Don't Make it Weird

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, during the trial in Chapter 5 I had the thought (theory) that maybe both Kaito and Kokichi were in the Exisal and lying about having a voice changer. That they'd perhaps swapped in a different body from a previous murder or used blood bags to make it look like a new murder had occurred, especially since the first game had set a precedent for such things being possible.
> 
> I realized for this to be the case that Kokichi would have to be sitting on Kaito's lap since the Exisal supposedly only had one seat and probably not much room for anything else. My immediate follow up thought was 'oh my gosh, I ship it like Fedex'. Then I decided I very much wanted this thought/theory to be true. It wasn't though. T.T
> 
> But now that I'm officially writing for this fandom, I decided to write it out for funnies. There are plot holes, I don't know where Kokichi got the second antidote or the blood bags, or how he got either of those things without Monokuma knowing and thus hinting towards his plan. I don't even try to explain it. So please forgive my plot holes for the sake of them hiding in the Exisal together.
> 
> Oh and also, Kaito isn't sick here. Or if he is, it's not fatal because he needs to live.

With a sinking feeling, Kaito watched Maki disappear from the window, fleeing as she was helpless to do anything else. _Dammit_ , that antidote had been meant for him. He never would’ve predicted Kokichi would be _that_ ruthless, especially after Kaito had _saved_ him.

He looked back over to see that the gremlin had pulled out one of those pink electro-bomb things that Miu had made. He pulled the pin out and dropped the grenade on the floor in the middle of the open doorway between the hanger and the bathroom. It exploded with a loud buzzing pop and seemingly nothing of it remained.

“What was that for?” Kaito asked as Kokichi turned back to face him.

“That was for the next step of my plan,” Kokichi replied as if he _hadn’t_ just condemned Kaito to die of poison. But of course he had a plan, he was just _like_ that.

He walked over to stand in front of Kaito and pulled out a bottle. It looked identical to the empty antidote bottle in his other hand. “Drink this,” he said, holding it towards Kaito as if he expected him to take it.

“What is it?”

“Another antidote. Now drink it.” Kokichi pushed it towards him again. “You dying would ruin _everything_.”

It was possible he was lying – where would he have even gotten another antidote? – but Kaito was already poisoned so he accepted it and drank it. While he did so, Kokichi smeared blood from the crossbow bolt wound on his shoulder onto the bottle in his hand and placed on the floor by Kaito.

“Now,” Kokichi took the now empty bottle from Kaito and put it back in his pocket. “Hold out your arm so I can take out the arrow.”

Kaito maybe felt a bit better? The poison was slow acting though, he’d only just been starting to feel its affects, so it was possible he hadn’t been cured of it. This was all a bit fishy.

So he pushed himself to his feet to regain his height advantage. “What is this about? What are you planning?” And did Kaito really want to play along with it? Kokichi was claiming to be the mastermind after all. Whether that was true or not was still not quite one hundred percent proven yet as far as Kaito was concerned. If he was willing to lie about being the culprit, why wouldn’t he also lie about being the mastermind? But to what end?

Kokichi frowned up at him. His face was paler than it should be. With pain no doubt, just the one arrow in Kaito’s forearm hurt like hell and Kokichi had two of them sticking out of him. But he snapped into a smile anyway. “We’re going to fool the mastermind by faking my death.”

“Aren’t _you_ the mastermind.”

“Nope, that was a lie.” As Kaito had half suspected. “Now give me your arm.”

Kaito hesitated but did as he told, he wanted the arrow out regardless of anything else. “And how are we going to…” he cut off with a squawk of pain as Kokichi held his wrist with one hand and used the other to yank out the arrow. “ _Ow_.”

“Don’t be a baby.” Kokichi placed the arrow on the ground by the bottle. “Now your turn.”

Kaito wanted to protest being called a baby – because he _wasn’t_ , he’d had an arrow in his arm, it getting yanked out had hurt more than it going in had, and that was saying something – but now unfortunately wasn’t the time. “First, tell me what the hell we’re doing.” If Kokichi’s plan was a bad one, it’d be best to leave the arrows in for now as the pain should incapacitate him somewhat, which is exactly what Kaito had been aiming for.

“We’re going to make it look like you killed me with the crusher _but_ we’re going to make it seem as if we tried to fake your death with the intent to fool the mastermind. Shuichi’s going to figure that out. He won’t call our double bluff though because everyone will assume that one us of is dead. We’ll hide in an Exisal and pretend we have a voice changer for the class trial. After the vote is called, we’ll both pop out, revealing our bluff and beating the mastermind at his own game, hopefully ending it for good.”

“Uh… what?”

Kokichi gave him a look like he thought he was stupid. “Did you really not understand?”

“Yes… no, I understand just… _how_?” There was no way that would work, right?

“Take out the arrows first please and then I’ll give you the exact steps while we start to set up.”

Now Kaito had a choice to make. Go along with Kokichi’s plan to fool the mastermind or go with his original plan to incapacitate him? Fooling the real mastermind would be phenomenal and _might_ even end the killing game. Hopefully it would. And even if Kokichi was the _biggest_ pain in the ass Kaito had ever met, he was also clearly very smart. If _anyone_ could pull off a plan that could fool the mastermind, it’d be him… even if Kaito didn’t want to admit it even to himself.

With a sigh he stepped closer and bent over to put one hand on Kokichi’s shoulder, the other he wrapped around the arrow shaft right above where it entered him. “Okay, I’m going to pull it out in three… two… one… now.”

Kokichi had visibly braced for it but still let out a hiss of pain as Kaito yanked out the arrow. He let out a heavy breath as he took the arrow and placed it next to the other one on the floor. Then he turned his back to face Kaito, taking no time to let himself recover. “Next one.”

This one looked like it had been embedded deeper than the one in his shoulder had been. Any deeper and it might have been a potentially fatal wound, he was perhaps lucky that it wasn’t.

Kaito repeated what he did before, bracing with one hand, gripping the arrow shaft with the other. “All right, three… two… one… now.”

Kokichi was silent this time but when he turned back around to take the arrow, there were tears in his eyes. Were they _real_ though? … Well, he’d just had two arrows ripped out of him, that _had_ to hurt so perhaps they were. What should Kaito say though? Should he even say anything?

“Tell me your plan now,” was what he ended up saying. There wasn’t much they could do about their injuries right now so perhaps it was best to pretend they weren’t in pain.

 

The press finished lowering with a loud clang, bursting the blood bags and spraying blood everywhere. If Kaito didn’t know better he’d believe a murder had happened here for sure. It was messy and gross and… should’ve made him feel sick enough to vomit. But he’d seen so much blood and death by now it didn’t faze him much as it should. … _That_ was the scariest part of all. They needed to end this killing game before they all went insane, hopefully Kokichi’s plan would accomplish that.

Speaking of Kokichi, he turned back to watch him dismantle the camera’s tripod. He’d taken off his shirt to flush down the toilet to ‘hide’ the evidence. Not a step Kaito was sure was truly necessary but Kokichi had insisted that it was. He looked even skinner as a result.

“Like what you see?” he asked with a smile as he turned to face Kaito.

“No.” Kaito looked away, crossing his arms. “But now that _that’s_ done, please tell me you brought medical supplies.” The arrow wound in his arm was painful and still bleeding an uncomfortable amount. Kokichi’s wounds were oozing blood too.

“Yep.” Kokichi vaulted over the railing of the control platform instead of going down the stairs like a normal person. … Kaito followed suit so he wouldn’t have to look at the bloody press again. Even knowing there was no body under there didn’t mean he actually wanted to look at it.

Kokichi led him back to the bathroom, purposefully avoiding stepping on the blood trial they’d created. There, they tended to each other’s wounds in near silence. It was an almost intimate experience in a weird sort of way.

Then they combed the place for any evidence of what they were _actually_ doing and got rid of it, leaving behind only the exact clues they wanted to be found. Kaito wasn’t sure what all that would be so he just followed Kokichi’s lead. He didn’t _want_ to but this was Kokichi’s plan and area of expertise so he wasn’t given much choice.

“And I brought you a spare a jacket because you don’t look right without it,” Kokichi said once he’d deemed the ‘crime’ scene to be perfect. He tossed said spare jacket towards Kaito.

Kaito caught it and slipped it on, letting one sleeve dangle at his side to look cool. “You bring yourself a spare set of clothing too?” he asked, looking around and seeing no such thing.

“Uh… I may have forgotten to do that. Whoops, oh well.” Smiling Kokichi shrugged. He seemed unbothered but… it was just weird seeing him bare-chested like that. Dammit.

With a sigh, Kaito slipped the jacket back off and tossed it at Kokichi, hitting him in the face with it. “What now?” he asked. “We hide in the Exisals, right?” Hopefully Kokichi would put the jacket on and not make any sort of deal out of it.

But alas, his hurt expression – undoubtedly fake – said such was not to be the case even before he opened his mouth. “I went to all the trouble to bring you an extra jacket and you…”

“Just put on the damn jacket asshole,” Kaito interrupted. “Don’t make it weird.”

Kokichi hesitated for a couple second before pulling the jacket on, moving slowly and stiffly due to his injuries. He even buttoned a few of buttons to cover his bare chest. “How do I look?” He asked as if he were trying on an outfit at a store and not mere feet away from a giant broken hydraulic press covered in blood in the middle of damn killing game.

 The jacket was a couple sizes too big for him, hanging on him almost like a short dress. The sleeves hung down past his wrists to cover his hands. All together it added to his false look of cute innocence.

“I told you not to make it weird. Let’s just get the Exisals.” Kaito turned away and started making his way towards the closest one.

“I think you mean _Exisal_. We’re going to be hiding in the same one.”

Kaito stopped and turned back. “But there are two of them in here.”

“Yes, but remember, everyone needs to assume only one of us is alive. We’re going to lead them to the conclusion that it’s _you_ but we need to make it seem like we’re trying to hide that. So we need to hide in the same Exisal and pretend we have a voice changer.”

“But uh… that means…”

“Yep, it means I get to sit on your lap for an extended period of time.”

“Uh… no, fuck that.” The last thing Kaito wanted was for Kokichi of all people to sit on his lap for any length of time.

“I’m smaller than you though so it makes more sense that way. _But_ I suppose if you _really_ want to sit on my lap that bad, you can.”

“Nope, fuck that even more.” The only thing worse than Kokichi sitting in his lap would be sitting in Kokichi’s lap. He’d just… have to suck it up then. “Let’s just get this over with then, don’t you _dare_ make it weird. Which one we hiding in?”

“The one still on rack.”

Kaito walked over to it and climbed up to the cockpit. The electro-bomb from earlier was still in effect so the hatch opened without a problem, allowing him to clamber in. The seat was surprisingly comfy. And the control panel while unfamiliar in the sense that he’d never been inside this kind of machine before still felt comfortable in front of him, almost like he was in the cockpit of one of the astronaut training simulators.

His nostalgia and growing sense of homesickness was broken as Kokichi popped into view. With literally nowhere else for him to sit, he inevitably ended up on Kaito’s lap as promised. He pulled the hatch done with him and it set in place with a small click, sealing them in together.

“Don’t make it weird,” Kaito said again.

“Oh, I think it’s bit too late for that don’t you think?”

Kokichi was right of course. There was nothing _not_ weird about having someone sit on his lap, back pressed to his chest. What was he supposed to do with his arms? The most logical place to put them was around Kokichi’s middle but that was _not_ happening. They were _way_ too close to cuddling… heck, some people might consider them to _be_ cuddling if they saw them like this without an explanation.

“My plan to wear your jacket and sit on your lap has proven to be a total success,” Kokichi said with a giggle.

“ _What_? You specifically _wanted_ this?” Kaito’s face burned at the thought.

“No of course not, that was a lie.”

“Oh… good.” It had been a nice thought though, someone actively _wanting_ to be this close to him. … Just not Kokichi. Anyone _but_ Kokichi and it would’ve been a nice thought. “What do we do now?”

“Sit, wait, I suggest taking a nap.”

It was in the middle of the night and Kaito was tired but… how was he supposed to sleep when Kokichi was pressed up against him like this? His body was warm but not unpleasantly so. Kaito had never physically been this close to another person before. It was kind of nice… except for the fact that it was Kokichi.

“So uh… you sure this’ll work?” he asked, shoving those thoughts to the side.

“I can’t know for sure of course but it _should_ work.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then I’ll just have to try a different plan.” He sounded unbothered by that idea but it had to be a lie, right? So much work had gone into this plan of his, it failing would _have_ to be devasting to him, right? “No matter what though I’m going to _end_ this killing game.”

“Good, see? You’re a not a bad person. You’re just…”

“Before you say that,” Kokichi cut him off, “you should know the reason I want to end this killing game. I want to outsmart the mastermind, prove I’m smarter and better than him. Or her, it could be a girl.”

“That’s a lie though, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not. For once I’m telling the truth.”

“Only a partial truth then?” Kaito didn’t want to believe Kokichi was all bad. He’d never wanted to believe that. But Kokichi seemed determined to make that hard. That had been part of his act to set this up though, right? He didn’t need to hold to it with Kaito anymore. “You want to outsmart the mastermind _and_ help everyone?”

“ _Now_ you’re using that big astronaut brain of yours.” Kokichi reached back to tap Kaito’s cheek. “This ‘game’ is cruel and unusual; it needs to _stop_.” At the start of his words he sounded like he’d been smiling, by the end he sounded as if he were on the verge of tears. It might’ve been fake but it might’ve been real too; it was impossible to tell with him. “It’s not fun. It was _never_ fun. It’s _awful_. I _hate_ it.”

Kaito sighed as he wrapped his arms around Kokichi’s middle at last, letting his body relax and fold into him. It was far more comfortable and considering how long they’d be in here together, the comfier they could get, the better. “We’ll stop it,” he whispered.

Kokichi stiffened but relaxed back into him after several seconds. “I hope so.”

“We’ll do it for sure, don’t worry about it.”

Kokichi scoffed but otherwise didn’t reply for a long while. “Let’s try to get some sleep, we need to be rested for tomorrow’s trail.”

They stayed silent after that and eventually Kokichi’s breathing deepened as he fell asleep. It was calm and peaceful. With how cramped the space it would eventually get uncomfortable but for now Kaito was fine and soon started drifting off as well. Tomorrow would be rough but hopefully everything would work out and they’d be free of this nightmare.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no idea what would happen after this. I think the trail would go rather similarly, Kaito's already committed to working with Kokichi so I imagine he'd play along. But when the vote is called and they both pop out, I honestly have no clue how Monokuma would react or what would happen next. If I can think of something I might try to come back to this later as a continuation or sequel. I don't know if I can though I just wanted to write this because I wanted to write them getting into the Exisal together and Kokichi sitting on Kaito's lap.


End file.
